I thought I was going to have a lucky day but it ended badly. The day was fine until evening when the electric current was cut off. Usually it worked after we turn on the switch again but now it seemed that the switch was loosen. The “mak guard” tried but failed. Even after the arrival of technician, we were still in dark. Gosh…I still have piles of homework undone and yet… It was around twelve but still no electricity. Well, have to sleep with no fan for whole night. That was not the worst part. Even I covered my ears with pillow; I still hear mosquitoes buzzing around me. Ew…that was the most miserable night I ever had here. When I woke up in the morning my eyes were half closed, yawning the whole day…
I had scars on my legs, from the results of mosquitoes bite, and it all shows when i wear my executive skirt. Speaking of that I had been told off the second time for not wearing 'baju kurung'. Pn Farra...zzz. Its not that i don't want to wear, the fact is I only had three sets before holiday. Besides, only Pn Farra would care about it. So to minimize her ranting I had to wear that during every expreriment. Actually I really hate to wear that malay costume. Whenever I wear it, the possibility of falling is high and I can't walk fast with it.
The skirt I wore which is knee-length enough to cover my knees, I never thought it was too short. It was until few girls said that to me. But anyway, its actually common to those accounts girls, some wore even shorter than me. Science students...and me...JB girl... Most people probably think that I am the kind of rich girl. Ha... And those malay girls in my class especially don't seem to like me. I mean talk to me. They wear those long sleeves and all wrap up clothes while me, sometimes short sleeves and skirt. I am often the left out one, often sitting alone in class...
Friday, September 5, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
The long return....
It’s growing mould here. Sometimes I really hate blogging. During the period when I’m writing what had happened is always pain, so painful that it’s like returning to that moment, so emotional that I ended up crying in the computer room.
Too many things happened this recently. There are joys and sorrows but most of joys are diminished by piles of sorrows. I miss my mum. Very. But sometimes not. I tend to forget her at times. I probably could not continue with my life if I think of her too often. She is a sad story that I hate to read, hate to know. Before I came back, I did not even ask how’s her condition, which means that I do not know whether she can walk or move. I do not believe others words, not even dad. I do not want any illusion from others; I only want to see myself how her condition is.
Honestly, I’m not looking forward of going back home. Probably too scared or maybe you can say I’m a coward. I felt sour when friends around say how they wish to go home, to taste mother’s cooking and stuffs.
Till the second I saw mum, I actually felt relieved. At least she is far better than I thought. She can move, walk and eat. She lost her weight, looking so fragile. Dad too, he looked old and worn out. He did not sleep for at least one month, for the sake of mum. I’m really impressed by his sacrifices. He did everything alone, handling every single matter to his maximum.
“Thanks dad. You’re the best! Sorry that I could not be there when our family meets problem. Thanks for being so strong and hang on till the last minute.”
I felt so useless compared to dad. He did not want me to go back that time to make me feel better. He did not want me to see the worst scene, not wanting me to feel sad. When others are persuading me to go home, only dad is confident that mum will definitely get well. So he felt that it was unnecessary for me to go back.
Mum is physically well now. It’s just that her brain is not functioning well. She needs a person beside to assist her. She could remember almost everything happened in the past.
Through everything that happened, I learned to know which family members are genuine and sincere. I’m no longer a crybaby. I had grown to become stronger…
Too many things happened this recently. There are joys and sorrows but most of joys are diminished by piles of sorrows. I miss my mum. Very. But sometimes not. I tend to forget her at times. I probably could not continue with my life if I think of her too often. She is a sad story that I hate to read, hate to know. Before I came back, I did not even ask how’s her condition, which means that I do not know whether she can walk or move. I do not believe others words, not even dad. I do not want any illusion from others; I only want to see myself how her condition is.
Honestly, I’m not looking forward of going back home. Probably too scared or maybe you can say I’m a coward. I felt sour when friends around say how they wish to go home, to taste mother’s cooking and stuffs.
Till the second I saw mum, I actually felt relieved. At least she is far better than I thought. She can move, walk and eat. She lost her weight, looking so fragile. Dad too, he looked old and worn out. He did not sleep for at least one month, for the sake of mum. I’m really impressed by his sacrifices. He did everything alone, handling every single matter to his maximum.
“Thanks dad. You’re the best! Sorry that I could not be there when our family meets problem. Thanks for being so strong and hang on till the last minute.”
I felt so useless compared to dad. He did not want me to go back that time to make me feel better. He did not want me to see the worst scene, not wanting me to feel sad. When others are persuading me to go home, only dad is confident that mum will definitely get well. So he felt that it was unnecessary for me to go back.
Mum is physically well now. It’s just that her brain is not functioning well. She needs a person beside to assist her. She could remember almost everything happened in the past.
Through everything that happened, I learned to know which family members are genuine and sincere. I’m no longer a crybaby. I had grown to become stronger…
Friday, June 27, 2008
My plan to go back eventually diminished after I almost bought a bus ticket home. I called dad saying I might return. He turned out to be quite surprised. Wasn't he the one suggested so? He bla bla bla....saying how mum will disapprove me to go back if she could speak, I can't help much there and stuffs. Hell...Tears rolled down again. "But then I will come and pick you up if you really decided to come back. Everything is up to you. I don't want you to have regrets."
I will probably bring more problems to dad if I go back. He need to work. If I am there...there will be more troubles.
I made up my mind. I will stay.
Then later when I went back to room, dad called again. He said Aunty Yvonne wished to have a talk with me.
She spoke in a very gentle way just like how an adult speak to a three year-old kid.
" Pei Ling, can you hear me?" she asked.
" Yeah." I replied.
" Okay, you know your mum is sick and now lying in hospital right?" she started.
" Hmm..." I answered.
" So what is your decision now?"
My decision? " Dad told me not to go back" I replied.
" Okay, you see...your dad said that because......(forgot exactly what she said)... There are dad, doctor and nurses here. They will take good care of your mummy. And I know your mummy quite well. When I chatted with her, we did talk about this issue, what if she suddenly sick or ill. She said that she will not blame you if you are not by her side."
Again, she made me cried. " Hmm..." I answered. I really don't know what else to say other than that. They ever chat on this issue? Or was it created by herself to make me feel more comfortable? Hey, I am not a kid. But she did make me believed her.
" Your mummy wants you to study hard instead. Don't worry, its just a small case (small case!?). Everything will be fine soon. If anything worsen we will contact you." she said in a soothing voice.
" Hmm...Thanks and bye." I replied.
So there were people there around mum other than dad. What about my aunties? Are they aware of that? Grandmother and uncles? So I am the last to know?
Stroke....Mum got stroke. Grandfather also got stroke and he died of that too. I know about stroke quite well. Commonly, that patient will have an acute facial paresis, arm drift or abnormal speech. Even though he/ she is said to be recovered, but there will still be side effects.
No...no...no...I have to stop thinking about all this...I really hate all this. ....
I will probably bring more problems to dad if I go back. He need to work. If I am there...there will be more troubles.
I made up my mind. I will stay.
Then later when I went back to room, dad called again. He said Aunty Yvonne wished to have a talk with me.
She spoke in a very gentle way just like how an adult speak to a three year-old kid.
" Pei Ling, can you hear me?" she asked.
" Yeah." I replied.
" Okay, you know your mum is sick and now lying in hospital right?" she started.
" Hmm..." I answered.
" So what is your decision now?"
My decision? " Dad told me not to go back" I replied.
" Okay, you see...your dad said that because......(forgot exactly what she said)... There are dad, doctor and nurses here. They will take good care of your mummy. And I know your mummy quite well. When I chatted with her, we did talk about this issue, what if she suddenly sick or ill. She said that she will not blame you if you are not by her side."
Again, she made me cried. " Hmm..." I answered. I really don't know what else to say other than that. They ever chat on this issue? Or was it created by herself to make me feel more comfortable? Hey, I am not a kid. But she did make me believed her.
" Your mummy wants you to study hard instead. Don't worry, its just a small case (small case!?). Everything will be fine soon. If anything worsen we will contact you." she said in a soothing voice.
" Hmm...Thanks and bye." I replied.
So there were people there around mum other than dad. What about my aunties? Are they aware of that? Grandmother and uncles? So I am the last to know?
Stroke....Mum got stroke. Grandfather also got stroke and he died of that too. I know about stroke quite well. Commonly, that patient will have an acute facial paresis, arm drift or abnormal speech. Even though he/ she is said to be recovered, but there will still be side effects.
No...no...no...I have to stop thinking about all this...I really hate all this. ....
I am dreaming...It is obviously a dream, far too ridiculous to be a truth statement. Mum called me again. Before that, I wanted to call her to spread the news that I can CYCLE now. But it wasn't mum who called. It was dad.
"Hello?" I said in a happy voice.
"Erm..." a man voice said (dad). I waited. "Actually your mum is hospitalised. Its already two days. She is now in ICU"
I did expect those words from him but why I know that only after two days? I didn't blame him anyway. "Why?" I asked.
"She suffered from a stroke." he explained in an unbelievable voice. "She is...how would she suffer from that? Your mum is always healthy with no blood pressure problem."
I want to know that more than you...
" What did the doctor says?" I need scientific informations, accurate ones.
" I don't know. He said need to be observed few more days to jump to a conclusion." he replied.
He continued, " I decided to tell you this so that you won't blame me in the future. They said it is better to inform you." They? Who?
I paused for a very long time. Tears were rolling down.
"Hello?" dad's voice. I paused more. " Take it easy, don't worry. See, dad is here. I can handle everything." Really?
" Hmm..." I replied in my calmest voice.
" So you plan to come back?" he asked.
I never thought about this before. Going back JB to visit mum.......?
" I don't know. I think about it first."
" Okay...just call me if you wanna come back. Don't be too worry." and he ended his conversation.
Now, left me alone in my locker accompanied by tears. I sat in my locker. More tears rolling down and I wondered when it will stop. What to do next?
"Hello?" I said in a happy voice.
"Erm..." a man voice said (dad). I waited. "Actually your mum is hospitalised. Its already two days. She is now in ICU"
I did expect those words from him but why I know that only after two days? I didn't blame him anyway. "Why?" I asked.
"She suffered from a stroke." he explained in an unbelievable voice. "She is...how would she suffer from that? Your mum is always healthy with no blood pressure problem."
I want to know that more than you...
" What did the doctor says?" I need scientific informations, accurate ones.
" I don't know. He said need to be observed few more days to jump to a conclusion." he replied.
He continued, " I decided to tell you this so that you won't blame me in the future. They said it is better to inform you." They? Who?
I paused for a very long time. Tears were rolling down.
"Hello?" dad's voice. I paused more. " Take it easy, don't worry. See, dad is here. I can handle everything." Really?
" Hmm..." I replied in my calmest voice.
" So you plan to come back?" he asked.
I never thought about this before. Going back JB to visit mum.......?
" I don't know. I think about it first."
" Okay...just call me if you wanna come back. Don't be too worry." and he ended his conversation.
Now, left me alone in my locker accompanied by tears. I sat in my locker. More tears rolling down and I wondered when it will stop. What to do next?
Thursday, June 26, 2008
~Love Me for Me~
I’m not the girl that you see in the magazine
Perfect face and perfect body
Never be anyone but the one I am, one I am
I can’t bend to your expectations
Live to fulfill any fantasy
If what I am is what you need
Love me for me
And not for someone that I would never be
Cause what you get is what you see
And I can’t be any more than what I am
Love me for me or don’t love me
Don’t think you’re gonna change what’s inside of me
Make me who you want me to be
Won’t be someone I’m not for somebody else, someone else
Love me with all my imperfections
Not for an image of your design
Love me for what you see inside
Love me for me
And not for someone that I would never be
Cause what you get is what you see
And I can’t be any more than what I am
Love me for me
And not for someone you wish that I could be
Cause what you get is what you see
And I can’t be any more than what I am
Love me for me or don’t love me
I’d never do anything to change you
Make you be anything than who you are
All that I am is all that I can be
I love you for you
So love me for me,
love me for me
Love Me For Me...
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
I woke up from my long afternoon nap and climbed up lazily. It was almost six pm. I reached my phone in my locker and found a few miss calls and messages from friends and unknown. Buzz.... My phone rang again. It showed Mum's number. This wasn't the time she would call.
"Hello". Then I heard Dad's voice. "I don't know what is happening to mummy."
"Huh?" I replied. "I don't know..." He sounded a bit frantic which made me feel weak.
Wait... My brain starts to recollect every words he said and branched a few possibilities.
"Hello". Then I heard Dad's voice. "I don't know what is happening to mummy."
"Huh?" I replied. "I don't know..." He sounded a bit frantic which made me feel weak.
Wait... My brain starts to recollect every words he said and branched a few possibilities.
1. Did mum get an accident?
2. Is she in the hospital?
3. She went crazy?
4. You made mum upset?
Non of the possibilities relieve me. I waited again for Dad to continue. "I don't know. She...her legs went straight and.....". I "Huh" again but he still couldn't find the right words to put in phrase. "She is getting better now...nothing much actually. Don't worry." Then he hung up.
WHAT? DON'T WORRY? What the hell is this? Then why are you calling me if it wasn't something serious? I felt weaker than ever. A lone tear rolled down and followed by others as if to accompany the lone. WHAT IS HAPPENING? I NEED MORE DETAILS. I stood there for a moment. Then I decided to refresh myself before calling back again. After a quick bath, I called Dad. "She is getting better. She vomited everything and is okay now." I listened quietly on the other side while he continued. He explained how he found her in static when he came back from work and bla bla bla...took her to clinic, where the doctor said she is OKAY. It still doesn't make sense to me and he ended the conversation with "Don't worry."
That's all? I AM TERRIBLY WORRIED. I sat by the cupboard for a long time, crying.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Hahaha...So so so funny...Half an hour ago...Our Chemistry lecturer, Pn Farra, threw tantrum. We made her angry actually. Almost the whole class did not finish homework. She said she is going to be very angry. And she did. She took her bag and walked out. Really speechless about her. This is just the first time we did not complete our work and she is already so so so........childish. Lolx...teacher ah...why don't you let me present the tutorial first before you walk out? So sleepy....
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
CINTA TAK BERSYARAT
Tak ada sedikit pun sesalku
Telah bertahan dengan setiaku
Walau di akhir jalan
Ku harus melepaskan dirimu
Ternyata tak mampu kau melupa
Dalamnya cintaku yang hebat
Hingga ada alasan
Bagimu untuk tinggalkan setiamu....Oh~
Demi nama cinta
Telahku persembahkan
Hatiku hanya untukmu
Telahku jaga kejujuran
Dalam setiap nafasku
Kerana demi cinta
Telahku relakan
Kecewaku atas ingkarmu
Sebab ku mengerti cinta itu
Tak mesti...memiliki
Andai saja bisa kau fahami
Layaknya erti kasih sejati
Kerana cinta yang sungguh
Tiada akan pernah mungkin
Bersyarat...Oh~
Ternyata tak mampu kau
dalamnya cintaku yang hebat...
Friday, June 13, 2008
Bye Zetty...
Another blow...
My roommate beside my bed is going to leave soon. She is going to study for diploma, engineering course. It means she will leave me to sleep alone every nights. I don't know whether to be happy or sad but I actually do feel down after hearing the news. It has been quite fun to have her as my roommate and yeah...I called her Zetty, from Kelantan. There is always this kind of things happen when you are just going to get along with someone or get used to something.
Hmm...about her...she is a...quite a nice person to live with. There is this funny thing about her where she will talk in her dream. Haha...but I couldn't figure out what she said though. Then, we always crack unfinished jokes and talk lame everyday. She is the kind easy-going and never make fuss over anything that upset her. And har...she is quite open. She will talk about the guy she likes in her class and sometimes we find her unbelievable.
So sad...she is leaving. Anyway, I hope she made a right choice for her future and bye...
My roommate beside my bed is going to leave soon. She is going to study for diploma, engineering course. It means she will leave me to sleep alone every nights. I don't know whether to be happy or sad but I actually do feel down after hearing the news. It has been quite fun to have her as my roommate and yeah...I called her Zetty, from Kelantan. There is always this kind of things happen when you are just going to get along with someone or get used to something.
Hmm...about her...she is a...quite a nice person to live with. There is this funny thing about her where she will talk in her dream. Haha...but I couldn't figure out what she said though. Then, we always crack unfinished jokes and talk lame everyday. She is the kind easy-going and never make fuss over anything that upset her. And har...she is quite open. She will talk about the guy she likes in her class and sometimes we find her unbelievable.
So sad...she is leaving. Anyway, I hope she made a right choice for her future and bye...
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Silent Scream
Someone told me
Be good there and work hard for your goal
Someone reminded
You're not alone and there is always people who cares for you
Someone said
You're strong just like an amphibian
Someone laugh
You're just being too emotional
Someone whispered
Don't cry silently cause it hurt the most...
Monday, June 9, 2008
Feeling grey
I hate my class. I hate tutorial. I hate...I hate them all... I don't know what I am hating it but I just hate! I have no good friend in class and I am always alone. Doing things alone and I am always very depress in that particular class. I just feel that I don't belong to there. I somehow belong to the old physics class I am from. Even my name is not in the attendance list. What the....
First of all, I don't mix with the only chinese girl in my class. One reason is simply because I don't really like her. The way she talk and laugh...Oh my god... I can't stand it any longer. WhenI talk something seriously to her she will just 'har' then giggle with no answer. That is not all. I can't understand a thing what she is talking about. Like I am talking to wall. Well...we are humans from different world. The others do have their own group. I would become the odd numbers when they formed groups. There was this English singing activity where I have to join three other guys. Its going to be on next week! Guess what...we are singing 'My Love' by Westlife. Zzz...Okay...whatever it is...will tell more about it if anything "funny" happens...which I hope no.
And don't know why, I sobbed a lot. Yesterday I sobbed twice. First was after listening to 'Broken Vow' by Josh. The other was while reading a novel. My tear gland seems easily to be activated. I am going crazy soon!
First of all, I don't mix with the only chinese girl in my class. One reason is simply because I don't really like her. The way she talk and laugh...Oh my god... I can't stand it any longer. WhenI talk something seriously to her she will just 'har' then giggle with no answer. That is not all. I can't understand a thing what she is talking about. Like I am talking to wall. Well...we are humans from different world. The others do have their own group. I would become the odd numbers when they formed groups. There was this English singing activity where I have to join three other guys. Its going to be on next week! Guess what...we are singing 'My Love' by Westlife. Zzz...Okay...whatever it is...will tell more about it if anything "funny" happens...which I hope no.
And don't know why, I sobbed a lot. Yesterday I sobbed twice. First was after listening to 'Broken Vow' by Josh. The other was while reading a novel. My tear gland seems easily to be activated. I am going crazy soon!
what the hxxx....
Sometimes I really find myself being very silly. There is this morning where I walked to a wrong class. That morning I was very sure that the first period is at kuliah (which means a hall-liked place where over hundred students listen to lecture). Then I walked in just like any other days searching for my friends but I didn't see any. So I just assumed that they came late. I took a seat two rows from the front and funnily there isn't anyone sitting on those two rows. I sensed people staring at me and after a while a Malay girl asked me
"Kamu first intake atau second intake?"
"First intake."
"So kamu baru tukar jurusan?"
"Tak lah...bukan."
"Oh...sebab...dua rows ini untuk lelaki..."
"Sini dah ade orang duduk?" still in a blurr state.
Then after a few seconds my mind clicks...My god...I quickly took my bag and went out. Shit...I should be in tutorial class but not kuliah...
Hell...I wonder how my luck goes...My badminton racket was spoilt by don't-know-who as I lent to many people. And so I can only play tennis for the meanwhile. One morning I went to play tennis alone. There were no people playing there and I was quite phew because it was my first time playing after million years (erm...I am not a god or monster). But there were these football players there for training. When I played, I exerted over force and the ball flew over the wall. I heard laughter almost immediately and when I turned around, I saw three Malay guys there laughing funnily. My godness...I really wish to find a hole and hide....
"Kamu first intake atau second intake?"
"First intake."
"So kamu baru tukar jurusan?"
"Tak lah...bukan."
"Oh...sebab...dua rows ini untuk lelaki..."
"Sini dah ade orang duduk?" still in a blurr state.
Then after a few seconds my mind clicks...My god...I quickly took my bag and went out. Shit...I should be in tutorial class but not kuliah...
Hell...I wonder how my luck goes...My badminton racket was spoilt by don't-know-who as I lent to many people. And so I can only play tennis for the meanwhile. One morning I went to play tennis alone. There were no people playing there and I was quite phew because it was my first time playing after million years (erm...I am not a god or monster). But there were these football players there for training. When I played, I exerted over force and the ball flew over the wall. I heard laughter almost immediately and when I turned around, I saw three Malay guys there laughing funnily. My godness...I really wish to find a hole and hide....
Friday, May 23, 2008
Suffocated
You stirred my life
Without knowing,with no reason
You're full of caffeine
and made me feel drunk and drowsy
You're a witch
who cast a poisonous spell
deep to my frozen heart
It's called "MISS"
Our memories always replay and rewind in my mind
The feeling of touch is still so strong, unwashed
We can only meet in dreamland for the time being
You have become a part of mine
You're the one I care
And you're the one I could feel
Cause we are a special pair of soul mate...
Without knowing,with no reason
You're full of caffeine
and made me feel drunk and drowsy
You're a witch
who cast a poisonous spell
deep to my frozen heart
It's called "MISS"
Our memories always replay and rewind in my mind
The feeling of touch is still so strong, unwashed
We can only meet in dreamland for the time being
You have become a part of mine
You're the one I care
And you're the one I could feel
Cause we are a special pair of soul mate...
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Yahoo..I can blog!!!
Oh my god...I am so so so excited!!! Okay...for everyone information, I am now in Kolej Matrikulasi Perlis in Arau, somewhere very very far from home, also the furthest place i ever go. I am in the library now and argh...msn and friendster are restricted here... It will show this sucking page with:
Access Denied.
Access control configuration prevents your request from being allowed at this time. Please contact your service provider if you feel this is incorrect...
That is so damn shitting but anyway...I can still blog man....
Wah...I got really damn lot of things to tell here but today I will just make it simple. Firstly, my life here. For the first week of orientation, life is really miserable and and...no idea how to explain. I missed home damn much. Whenever I was free with nothing to do...I will start thinking of home... I finally understand what 'homesick' is now. Being the only child in the family, its really something unacceptable for me to be apart from family and do everything by own. Well...about my hostel here, its...okay actually but of course, no place is better than home. I live with three other Malay girls in a room, two from Kelantan and the other one...I got no idea. Till now, everything is still going smoothly. The bed and pillow is kinda terrible...but argh...no time to care for that. My room is at the first floor and water cooler is at the third floor. So everyday I have to climb climb and climb the stairs. Studying here really needs a lot of walking especially school time where almost every hour you have to walk to different places to attend another class. My class is a mundane thingy. Boring!
The only thing I like about Perlis is the air. Ever since I came here, my nose allergy has stopped. The bad thing about here is Perlis is way to 'ulu' compared to JB. The town in Perlis, known as Kangar is...oh my god... The only shopping centre there is 'The Store' and 'Aneka' and the most luxurious restaurant is KFC. It takes about twenty-minutes to reach Kangar from Arau and our outing day is on Sat and Sun where we have to be back before seven pm.
Okay, talking about new friends, I did made a few. The few I always stick to are Shu Xian, Zhi Mei and Sock Jin. They three were from MRSM. Thank god that they let me join them eating, chatting and stuffs...We do have great time together and hopefully we can become best friends.
After a week being here, I begin to enjoy the life here instead. Alright, that's all for today and I will definitely blog more in the future!
Access Denied.
Access control configuration prevents your request from being allowed at this time. Please contact your service provider if you feel this is incorrect...
That is so damn shitting but anyway...I can still blog man....
Wah...I got really damn lot of things to tell here but today I will just make it simple. Firstly, my life here. For the first week of orientation, life is really miserable and and...no idea how to explain. I missed home damn much. Whenever I was free with nothing to do...I will start thinking of home... I finally understand what 'homesick' is now. Being the only child in the family, its really something unacceptable for me to be apart from family and do everything by own. Well...about my hostel here, its...okay actually but of course, no place is better than home. I live with three other Malay girls in a room, two from Kelantan and the other one...I got no idea. Till now, everything is still going smoothly. The bed and pillow is kinda terrible...but argh...no time to care for that. My room is at the first floor and water cooler is at the third floor. So everyday I have to climb climb and climb the stairs. Studying here really needs a lot of walking especially school time where almost every hour you have to walk to different places to attend another class. My class is a mundane thingy. Boring!
The only thing I like about Perlis is the air. Ever since I came here, my nose allergy has stopped. The bad thing about here is Perlis is way to 'ulu' compared to JB. The town in Perlis, known as Kangar is...oh my god... The only shopping centre there is 'The Store' and 'Aneka' and the most luxurious restaurant is KFC. It takes about twenty-minutes to reach Kangar from Arau and our outing day is on Sat and Sun where we have to be back before seven pm.
Okay, talking about new friends, I did made a few. The few I always stick to are Shu Xian, Zhi Mei and Sock Jin. They three were from MRSM. Thank god that they let me join them eating, chatting and stuffs...We do have great time together and hopefully we can become best friends.
After a week being here, I begin to enjoy the life here instead. Alright, that's all for today and I will definitely blog more in the future!
Friday, May 9, 2008
TAG 2
1. At what age do you wish to marry?
>>> Er…I have not really think about it…maybe around 26?
2. If you have the chance, what would you probably say to your beloved one?
>>> I love you. I will love you forever. I will love you as long as I live. I will still love you even you stop loving me.
3. Which is your favorite song?
>>> Heaven Knows
4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
>>> Venice!!!
5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
>>> To get a lifetime happiness
6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
>>> Obviously not
7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
>>> My true self
8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
>>> Er....lots of things....Hee...
9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
>>> Probably no
10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
>>> Intelligent, funny, interesting
11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
>>> Erm…a gentleman, caring, thoughtful and man enough
12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
>>> Pretender
13. What is your ambition?
>>> To be an anaesthetist. I can take a rest while the surgeons do the operation
14. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
>>> People who ever hurt me
15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
>>> Er…Sleeping…
16. Are you a shopaholic or not?
>>> Not really. I only buy things that I need
17. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
>>> My carelessness which caused me a lot of problems
18. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
>>> All problems? God
19. What makes you different?
>>> My name, lameness and silliness
20. Have you done any crimes?
>>> Basically I am a good citizen
I tag
>> Nicole
>> Yee Ser
>> Ther Ther
>> Scorpteen
>>> Er…I have not really think about it…maybe around 26?
2. If you have the chance, what would you probably say to your beloved one?
>>> I love you. I will love you forever. I will love you as long as I live. I will still love you even you stop loving me.
3. Which is your favorite song?
>>> Heaven Knows
4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
>>> Venice!!!
5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
>>> To get a lifetime happiness
6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
>>> Obviously not
7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
>>> My true self
8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
>>> Er....lots of things....Hee...
9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
>>> Probably no
10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
>>> Intelligent, funny, interesting
11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
>>> Erm…a gentleman, caring, thoughtful and man enough
12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
>>> Pretender
13. What is your ambition?
>>> To be an anaesthetist. I can take a rest while the surgeons do the operation
14. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
>>> People who ever hurt me
15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
>>> Er…Sleeping…
16. Are you a shopaholic or not?
>>> Not really. I only buy things that I need
17. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
>>> My carelessness which caused me a lot of problems
18. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
>>> All problems? God
19. What makes you different?
>>> My name, lameness and silliness
20. Have you done any crimes?
>>> Basically I am a good citizen
I tag
>> Nicole
>> Yee Ser
>> Ther Ther
>> Scorpteen
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
TAG!
TAG 1
5 things I was doing 10 years ago (1998)?
>>> I remember I had many Indian and Malay friends during my Primary days
>>> I remember I didn’t attend class everyday but hiding somewhere else in the school instead till teacher called me back to class. I topped the class and that’s why teachers were speechless about my behavior. (kind of promoting myself here…)
>>> I remember I am not a talkative girl till I study in Convent
>>> I remember I used to be bullied by those Indian and Malay guys in Primary school
>>> I remember I was a very very shy girl before this
5 things on my to-do list today.
>>> Wash all the cups and dishes
>>> Fold the clothes
>>> Flip through Straits Time
>>> Watch “Sky of Love”. Hee…
>>> Get home before my mum does (Proudly did so)
5 Snacks I enjoy
>>> Chocolate (except dark choc)
>>> Mash potatoes especially from KFC
>>> Fries
>>> Potato chips
>>> Green peas
5 Things I would do if I were a billionaire
>>> Immediately migrate to Venice and build a lovely house there and live with my love one
>>> Travel around the world of course
>>> Do investments to get richer. Yea…I am greedy
>>> Buy this and that… use bird nest to wash my face everyday
>>> Donate to the poor. I am not boasting
5 of my bad habits
>>> I am damn damn lazy
>>> Damn stubborn and playful also
>>> Like to ‘kacau’ friends
>>> Super lame…Erm…should be a good habit instead cause I bring laughter to people…Zzz
>>> I like to do things at the last minute
5 places I have lived
>>> Century Garden
>>> Permas Jaya
>>> Hotels? For holidays….Counted? whatever la
>>> Er…Earth
>>> and Malaysia
5 jobs I've had
>>> Promoter and cashier in my Uncle’s shop
>>> Auditor at YS’s mum’s audit firm
>>> Promoter at Wern’s aunt’s chocolate shop
>>> Daily assistant for Mum
>>> Student…Hate this job a lot because I never get paid
5 people I tag
>>> Yee Ser
>>> Ther Ther
>>> Scorpteen
>>> Nicole…can I tag u back? Whatever la…
>>> Whoever...
5 things I was doing 10 years ago (1998)?
>>> I remember I had many Indian and Malay friends during my Primary days
>>> I remember I didn’t attend class everyday but hiding somewhere else in the school instead till teacher called me back to class. I topped the class and that’s why teachers were speechless about my behavior. (kind of promoting myself here…)
>>> I remember I am not a talkative girl till I study in Convent
>>> I remember I used to be bullied by those Indian and Malay guys in Primary school
>>> I remember I was a very very shy girl before this
5 things on my to-do list today.
>>> Wash all the cups and dishes
>>> Fold the clothes
>>> Flip through Straits Time
>>> Watch “Sky of Love”. Hee…
>>> Get home before my mum does (Proudly did so)
5 Snacks I enjoy
>>> Chocolate (except dark choc)
>>> Mash potatoes especially from KFC
>>> Fries
>>> Potato chips
>>> Green peas
5 Things I would do if I were a billionaire
>>> Immediately migrate to Venice and build a lovely house there and live with my love one
>>> Travel around the world of course
>>> Do investments to get richer. Yea…I am greedy
>>> Buy this and that… use bird nest to wash my face everyday
>>> Donate to the poor. I am not boasting
5 of my bad habits
>>> I am damn damn lazy
>>> Damn stubborn and playful also
>>> Like to ‘kacau’ friends
>>> Super lame…Erm…should be a good habit instead cause I bring laughter to people…Zzz
>>> I like to do things at the last minute
5 places I have lived
>>> Century Garden
>>> Permas Jaya
>>> Hotels? For holidays….Counted? whatever la
>>> Er…Earth
>>> and Malaysia
5 jobs I've had
>>> Promoter and cashier in my Uncle’s shop
>>> Auditor at YS’s mum’s audit firm
>>> Promoter at Wern’s aunt’s chocolate shop
>>> Daily assistant for Mum
>>> Student…Hate this job a lot because I never get paid
5 people I tag
>>> Yee Ser
>>> Ther Ther
>>> Scorpteen
>>> Nicole…can I tag u back? Whatever la…
>>> Whoever...
Monday, April 28, 2008
Bye...Mum & Dad
My dream finally comes true…
I have always envied my cousin, Zhi Hong, to able enter local Matriculation. Now, God realized my dream! I am the one of the 10% non-bumiputras who got selected for Matriculation!!! I am sooooo lucky…..
Nah…I don’t think so. I am also the most unlucky one to get a place as far as Perlis. God...From the south-est part to the north-est part of Malaysia! All alone…no relatives, no friends. After much consideration, this and that, Dad said “It’s a rare opportunity… Go for it.” Hence, the decision is made.
I will be leaving…on the twelfth May…er…should be eleventh…and now I still left about…two weeks time. This is my first time leaving home to such a far place. I will certainly, surely, definitely miss my parents a lot. Mum’s cooking, her super lame jokes, her nagging, complaining, questions, requests and all. Dad’s cold jokes, his ‘never want to listen’ nagging, over concerning and bla bla bla. Maybe I should be happy instead. After I gone, I won’t be able to hear them quarreling and shouting to each other, saving my tears for them. Haha?
Till this moment, I still couldn’t feel any reality about going Perlis. It doesn’t seem real at all. I can’t believe myself living with three other Malays (total strangers) in one room, waking up myself, no ready breakfast and importantly, no more nagging.
I find Mum behaving weirdly these days. Probably because couldn’t bear me to go Perlis. She has been continuously cracking lame jokes which are not funny at all. She said these,
“After you gone to Perlis, I can turn on the TV loudly, but I will fix the antenna first to able to watch Channel 8.”
“After you leave, I will sing karaoke everyday…loudly.”
“After you leave, no one will help me to pass the thread through needle hole.”
And I just answered her with....”Haha…Yea right, zzz.”
In fact, I do worry a lot about Mum. All these while, she has been relying on me for her daily life. Little things like reading those small numbers on cards, translating words, charging her phone, reloading, reading messages, taking out her specs while she is driving, checking out for signboards, reminding her not to speed on highways and lots more…
Ma…please take care when I am not by your side. I will do my best there…love you always…
I have always envied my cousin, Zhi Hong, to able enter local Matriculation. Now, God realized my dream! I am the one of the 10% non-bumiputras who got selected for Matriculation!!! I am sooooo lucky…..
Nah…I don’t think so. I am also the most unlucky one to get a place as far as Perlis. God...From the south-est part to the north-est part of Malaysia! All alone…no relatives, no friends. After much consideration, this and that, Dad said “It’s a rare opportunity… Go for it.” Hence, the decision is made.
I will be leaving…on the twelfth May…er…should be eleventh…and now I still left about…two weeks time. This is my first time leaving home to such a far place. I will certainly, surely, definitely miss my parents a lot. Mum’s cooking, her super lame jokes, her nagging, complaining, questions, requests and all. Dad’s cold jokes, his ‘never want to listen’ nagging, over concerning and bla bla bla. Maybe I should be happy instead. After I gone, I won’t be able to hear them quarreling and shouting to each other, saving my tears for them. Haha?
Till this moment, I still couldn’t feel any reality about going Perlis. It doesn’t seem real at all. I can’t believe myself living with three other Malays (total strangers) in one room, waking up myself, no ready breakfast and importantly, no more nagging.
I find Mum behaving weirdly these days. Probably because couldn’t bear me to go Perlis. She has been continuously cracking lame jokes which are not funny at all. She said these,
“After you gone to Perlis, I can turn on the TV loudly, but I will fix the antenna first to able to watch Channel 8.”
“After you leave, I will sing karaoke everyday…loudly.”
“After you leave, no one will help me to pass the thread through needle hole.”
And I just answered her with....”Haha…Yea right, zzz.”
In fact, I do worry a lot about Mum. All these while, she has been relying on me for her daily life. Little things like reading those small numbers on cards, translating words, charging her phone, reloading, reading messages, taking out her specs while she is driving, checking out for signboards, reminding her not to speed on highways and lots more…
Ma…please take care when I am not by your side. I will do my best there…love you always…
Friday, April 18, 2008
date i was BoRN
I am turning 18!!! 18 means I can drink beers. 18 also means I need to grow mature, no more being like a child cause I am already a grown up! Haha…
Twelve struck. Phone rang. Leay Ying made a call all the way from Subang to sing me a birthday song. It was really surprising and touching. Felt that we were back to the past. I could sense the warmth and laughter from their apartment. Everyone there took turn to wish me Happy Birthday, Ke Er, Ying Xian, Huei Ling, Asther and Wei Han. I really miss all of you there. Sometimes I envy very much that LY, KE and YX could be there together. Convent life…I will never forget.
Then I received few messages from friends here and there and there was one special one. Jasmine sent her wishes all the way from Melbourne and Wern from Perth.
Night time, my parents and I went out for dinner. Sort of memorable to have meal together and there might be less chance in the future. Mum and Dad had this silly argument about my date of birth which made me laugh till tears dropped. Lolx! Dad said that I should be considered younger than my cousin as I was born two months earlier. Mum did not agree with that. And there goes their silly arguments. Then they told me that I was only 1.9kg when I was born, very tiny. Dad said that my nanny laughed at my size and said “Look at her leg, does it looks like a drumstick?” My god…how can she… Mum said that the nanny fed me with only little milk. Does that explain my height now? I heard that I was abused at that time and my parents knew that when my nanny’s neighbor complained to them that she took off my clothes and put me under no roof whenever I cried. I am really speechless about her.
Whatever it is, 17th April 2008 is a happy day for me and I am fully contented…
Twelve struck. Phone rang. Leay Ying made a call all the way from Subang to sing me a birthday song. It was really surprising and touching. Felt that we were back to the past. I could sense the warmth and laughter from their apartment. Everyone there took turn to wish me Happy Birthday, Ke Er, Ying Xian, Huei Ling, Asther and Wei Han. I really miss all of you there. Sometimes I envy very much that LY, KE and YX could be there together. Convent life…I will never forget.
Then I received few messages from friends here and there and there was one special one. Jasmine sent her wishes all the way from Melbourne and Wern from Perth.
Night time, my parents and I went out for dinner. Sort of memorable to have meal together and there might be less chance in the future. Mum and Dad had this silly argument about my date of birth which made me laugh till tears dropped. Lolx! Dad said that I should be considered younger than my cousin as I was born two months earlier. Mum did not agree with that. And there goes their silly arguments. Then they told me that I was only 1.9kg when I was born, very tiny. Dad said that my nanny laughed at my size and said “Look at her leg, does it looks like a drumstick?” My god…how can she… Mum said that the nanny fed me with only little milk. Does that explain my height now? I heard that I was abused at that time and my parents knew that when my nanny’s neighbor complained to them that she took off my clothes and put me under no roof whenever I cried. I am really speechless about her.
Whatever it is, 17th April 2008 is a happy day for me and I am fully contented…
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
These five days had been memorable and inspiring. The first few days I shall not explain more because were almost the same. We went to few clinics and we meet all kinds of doctors and specialists. Most of them or I should say 99% of them told us the same words like doctors’ job is not easy, think twice or you might regret and etc. I could even sing their advice.
Okay, before that I should make an introduction. There were altogether 71 people and we were divided into 7 groups, 10 people in mine. Four Malay guys and one of them, Mohammad, was our group leader. He is…erm…nothing much about him. Other three more Malays I really do not know about them except I heard one was a ‘tentera’ and he really wears a pair of shinny shoes. Then, we have Simbran, a Sikh, as our vice leader. He is damn tall, 185++cm. I will strain my neck talking to him. Haha, the ‘milkman’. Next was Mian Jie, the only one I know before the program and also the second tallest guy in my group. Ching Fang, a girl from SSI, an Indian and Malay girl were all in my team.
On the second day, we went to Forensic department. It was a small place like a house. I don’t really feel that scared as I had heard from other group that we won’t be able to see any dead faces or any other part of the dead bodies. Then, we went in and a female forensic doctor explained the procedure and her experience there. First, we went to a room with three ‘just dead bodies’ lying there…unmoved (of course can’t move la). All were covered with white clothes but I could see one with long hair and the other one leg sticking out, uncovered. Then, a man there opened a fridge full of dead babies. Ew…the smell is damn terrible. I couldn’t describe how awful it was. Next was something that we all “expecting” to see. Before this, I often see on TV where the dead bodies are placed in like fridges. There were altogether 12 doors and the man there opened one of it. He zipped open the plastic bag and there were all skull and bones inside. Then, he opened the other one and it was a man inside. The image is still very clear in my mind. The trip to forensic department was interesting as it was unusual.
Another memorable time in the hospital was the on-call duty. The five of us, Ching Fang, Yee Ser, Mian Jie, ‘a girl with don’t know what name’ and me volunteered to attach to a houseman for whole night. The houseman is a young Malay lady, Dr Hasda. After our dinner, we went to A & E (emergency department). I really learnt a lot there. Within few hours, I witnessed three life taking cases. One of them was slaughtered at the brain by someone and the doctor informed his family members that he can’t survived. If I was not mistaken it was his mother… crying loudly and screaming to wake him up. She shouted in Cantonese “Why do you involved in fight…Why don’t slaughter me instead…” I almost had my tears around the eyes. The other one was a ninety something year old granny who couldn’t hold on till that night. Her grandson was driving her in a lorry and they met an accident. Her grandson has only slight injury. He was crying bitterly there, sort of like blaming himself. The third one was announced dead not long after sent to the hospital.
There was another case which is a bit… The victim is a Chinese middle-age man. He tried to commit suicide by cutting his wrist but his injury wasn’t that serious when he was brought into the hospital. The reason to commit suicide was because of a girl he loves. My god… He was physically alright but mentally dead. He doesn’t want to open his eyes or move, no matter how the doctor did.
It was around twelve when we returned to the surgical ward. A general surgeon spoke to us about doctor’s life again. Then he arranged us to see an operation. The doctor in charge of the surgery is a young lady, Dr Tan. I really admired her ability. Within our stay there, an Australian anesthetist explained that was a hernia operation.
Around one or two in the morning, we went to A & E again. There were still a few patients there and most of them had fractures due to accidents. Then we were all really sleepy and exhausted and went back to surgical ward. I could not sleep as I became hyperactive after a cup of Nescafe.
Then, in the morning, we continued our program…and bla bla bla…
Okay, before that I should make an introduction. There were altogether 71 people and we were divided into 7 groups, 10 people in mine. Four Malay guys and one of them, Mohammad, was our group leader. He is…erm…nothing much about him. Other three more Malays I really do not know about them except I heard one was a ‘tentera’ and he really wears a pair of shinny shoes. Then, we have Simbran, a Sikh, as our vice leader. He is damn tall, 185++cm. I will strain my neck talking to him. Haha, the ‘milkman’. Next was Mian Jie, the only one I know before the program and also the second tallest guy in my group. Ching Fang, a girl from SSI, an Indian and Malay girl were all in my team.
On the second day, we went to Forensic department. It was a small place like a house. I don’t really feel that scared as I had heard from other group that we won’t be able to see any dead faces or any other part of the dead bodies. Then, we went in and a female forensic doctor explained the procedure and her experience there. First, we went to a room with three ‘just dead bodies’ lying there…unmoved (of course can’t move la). All were covered with white clothes but I could see one with long hair and the other one leg sticking out, uncovered. Then, a man there opened a fridge full of dead babies. Ew…the smell is damn terrible. I couldn’t describe how awful it was. Next was something that we all “expecting” to see. Before this, I often see on TV where the dead bodies are placed in like fridges. There were altogether 12 doors and the man there opened one of it. He zipped open the plastic bag and there were all skull and bones inside. Then, he opened the other one and it was a man inside. The image is still very clear in my mind. The trip to forensic department was interesting as it was unusual.
Another memorable time in the hospital was the on-call duty. The five of us, Ching Fang, Yee Ser, Mian Jie, ‘a girl with don’t know what name’ and me volunteered to attach to a houseman for whole night. The houseman is a young Malay lady, Dr Hasda. After our dinner, we went to A & E (emergency department). I really learnt a lot there. Within few hours, I witnessed three life taking cases. One of them was slaughtered at the brain by someone and the doctor informed his family members that he can’t survived. If I was not mistaken it was his mother… crying loudly and screaming to wake him up. She shouted in Cantonese “Why do you involved in fight…Why don’t slaughter me instead…” I almost had my tears around the eyes. The other one was a ninety something year old granny who couldn’t hold on till that night. Her grandson was driving her in a lorry and they met an accident. Her grandson has only slight injury. He was crying bitterly there, sort of like blaming himself. The third one was announced dead not long after sent to the hospital.
There was another case which is a bit… The victim is a Chinese middle-age man. He tried to commit suicide by cutting his wrist but his injury wasn’t that serious when he was brought into the hospital. The reason to commit suicide was because of a girl he loves. My god… He was physically alright but mentally dead. He doesn’t want to open his eyes or move, no matter how the doctor did.
It was around twelve when we returned to the surgical ward. A general surgeon spoke to us about doctor’s life again. Then he arranged us to see an operation. The doctor in charge of the surgery is a young lady, Dr Tan. I really admired her ability. Within our stay there, an Australian anesthetist explained that was a hernia operation.
Around one or two in the morning, we went to A & E again. There were still a few patients there and most of them had fractures due to accidents. Then we were all really sleepy and exhausted and went back to surgical ward. I could not sleep as I became hyperactive after a cup of Nescafe.
Then, in the morning, we continued our program…and bla bla bla…
Monday, March 24, 2008
Question with no Answer
So it wasn’t real after all. My childhood dreams to step on Australia soil shattered. Air ticket and everything are prepared. The only thing I need to do is to wait for three more days and there I am in Melbourne.
"JPA or Melbourne…?
JPA OR Melbourne….?
JPA? Melbourne?"
JPA! “Future is more important!” Everyone will tell me this, including myself.
There you fly 2700++ bucks of ticket money… I really don’t know whether to cry or laugh. Cry because of disappointment. Laugh because I have gone mad. If the interview went all wrong I would definitely bang the hardest wall in the world.
Today is the first day of the whatever program the JPA organized to give exposure to those who wants to be a doctor. Doctor… Sounds really great huh. Any parents who does not want their children to be a doctor? Since I was a kid, I told mum, grandparents, uncles and aunties that I want to grow up to be a doctor. But why none of them ask me “my reason to be a doctor”?
I try to figure out the answer the whole day. I asked a few people who took part in the program and they replied me “I wouldn’t change my mind already because I am really interested in medicine”. But why I want to be a doctor? To save lives? Bullshits! If the career of medicine has very low salary, would I ever consider being a doctor? I really felt silly compared to other people who have their reasons to be here. Do I belong to here?
"JPA or Melbourne…?
JPA OR Melbourne….?
JPA? Melbourne?"
JPA! “Future is more important!” Everyone will tell me this, including myself.
There you fly 2700++ bucks of ticket money… I really don’t know whether to cry or laugh. Cry because of disappointment. Laugh because I have gone mad. If the interview went all wrong I would definitely bang the hardest wall in the world.
Today is the first day of the whatever program the JPA organized to give exposure to those who wants to be a doctor. Doctor… Sounds really great huh. Any parents who does not want their children to be a doctor? Since I was a kid, I told mum, grandparents, uncles and aunties that I want to grow up to be a doctor. But why none of them ask me “my reason to be a doctor”?
I try to figure out the answer the whole day. I asked a few people who took part in the program and they replied me “I wouldn’t change my mind already because I am really interested in medicine”. But why I want to be a doctor? To save lives? Bullshits! If the career of medicine has very low salary, would I ever consider being a doctor? I really felt silly compared to other people who have their reasons to be here. Do I belong to here?
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Past the Gate of Hell....
Finally over...the nightmares were only tales, wasting all my sweat and millions of cells. I can breathe at last. Straight As’, kind of unbelievable! What I expected was at least a B for History, I really did badly for that. Though I thought I did quite well for EST and Moral but *sigh. Whatever it is, I should be happy with my results. Thank god…my Biology did achieve an A1. Efforts not wasted though. My, I can still sensed how boring and vomiting I studied during the days before SPM. I have learnt my lesson not to study during the last minute. It’s really struggling and tired by staying back to do group study and stuffs everyday.
During that historical moment (as if), mum wasn’t with me. I still remember when I collect my PMR results, mum went with me. I ended up crying, don’t know why.
After calling mum, I sms-ed dad since he was in Vietnam. To my surprise, he replied “Excellent. Congrates. Haha :). And well done.” That was kind of touching.
Hmm…my feelings after collecting SPM results:
1. Numb
2. Satisfied
3. Relieved
4. Released…!
Anyway, this is just a beginning. The road is still way too far to walk to the junction of success. Buck up, Pei Ling!
During that historical moment (as if), mum wasn’t with me. I still remember when I collect my PMR results, mum went with me. I ended up crying, don’t know why.
After calling mum, I sms-ed dad since he was in Vietnam. To my surprise, he replied “Excellent. Congrates. Haha :). And well done.” That was kind of touching.
Hmm…my feelings after collecting SPM results:
1. Numb
2. Satisfied
3. Relieved
4. Released…!
Anyway, this is just a beginning. The road is still way too far to walk to the junction of success. Buck up, Pei Ling!
Bla bla bla....
" I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to easily get upset and cry
Cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truly
But at the time it didn't mean a thing
My mind is gone, I'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears I'll drown
I'm losing grip, what's happening”
I'm not the type to easily get upset and cry
Cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truly
But at the time it didn't mean a thing
My mind is gone, I'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears I'll drown
I'm losing grip, what's happening”
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
s e c r e t s . . .
Everyone has secrets. Here are a few random secrets of mine:
1. I used milk bottle instead of mug till I was in Primary 4.
2. I feel inferior talking to people taller than me.
3. I signed my school report cards myself twice.
4. I’m scared of playing sea-saw. It makes my heart jump.
5. I can’t remember my daddy’s birthday-only knows it is somewhere around November.
6. I don’t brush my teeth when I was small.
7. My gang and I took the whole roll of white strings from Science Laboratory to make Woo- doo dolls. We also took quite an amount of litmus and universal indicator papers to play.
8. I would bring handkerchief to school everyday (like ancient people).
9. Actually I only vouch about 40% of the ledgers in which the remainder I just ticked without checking.
10. My parents never know I have a blog…
1. I used milk bottle instead of mug till I was in Primary 4.
2. I feel inferior talking to people taller than me.
3. I signed my school report cards myself twice.
4. I’m scared of playing sea-saw. It makes my heart jump.
5. I can’t remember my daddy’s birthday-only knows it is somewhere around November.
6. I don’t brush my teeth when I was small.
7. My gang and I took the whole roll of white strings from Science Laboratory to make Woo- doo dolls. We also took quite an amount of litmus and universal indicator papers to play.
8. I would bring handkerchief to school everyday (like ancient people).
9. Actually I only vouch about 40% of the ledgers in which the remainder I just ticked without checking.
10. My parents never know I have a blog…
Sunday, March 2, 2008
I have put a pause to my thinking. I got to be back on track as soon as possible though it is hard to do so. Either it is a coma or full stop, only heaven knows.
Things really go a bit wrong here and there. I was having terrible flu the whole day in the office and work like a corpse. Lunch hour I went and eat alone at the nearest restaurant. I didn’t bring along my hand phone. When I went back I saw a message from SP asking where I am. Hell, I didn’t know I was supposed to have lunch with her and I made her waited for so long. Gosh, I am really going to be killed very soon.
Recently I just received my salary. My feelings…nothing much, quite happy, not trilling but satisfied. Someone asked me to write about this and my feelings receiving salary but I really don’t know how to express it.
And so, I bought a magic cube (the one with many colour, sort of a puzzle thingy). Up to now I can only solve one side. It is too difficult for me. I doubt I have the IQ and I admit the truth.
Saturday afternoon, went out with YS and SJ. SJ still the same like before, talking all the ’shit’ things while people having lunch. I almost puke out the food.
I like this phrase said by a sales assistant in the Body Shop. “Thank you for saving the environment”. Finally, I saw some awareness for being environmental friendly. How great it would be if every shop applies that.
School holidays going to start soon. Friends are coming back! Great! Really miss you guys. And here is some hilarious story about a friend, Jasmine (Xin Ying) studying in Australia.
P.S. For everyone’s information Xin Ying has a new name now. Haha, don’t laugh okay? Lolx!
“She stayed in school campus and usually in other country you need to go to the ‘laundry room’ to wash clothes and dry them…and you have to pay. So one day she went to the laundry room to get her clothes washed. The problem is that she doesn’t have enough coins and she saw a machine on the wall which looked like a coins changing machine. At that time a black man was there to wash clothes also. So she asked the man how to use that machine and he taught her how and how. But, in the end…she found out they both were talking about two different matters. He told her that the machine was used to buy ‘condoms’! “
Things really go a bit wrong here and there. I was having terrible flu the whole day in the office and work like a corpse. Lunch hour I went and eat alone at the nearest restaurant. I didn’t bring along my hand phone. When I went back I saw a message from SP asking where I am. Hell, I didn’t know I was supposed to have lunch with her and I made her waited for so long. Gosh, I am really going to be killed very soon.
Recently I just received my salary. My feelings…nothing much, quite happy, not trilling but satisfied. Someone asked me to write about this and my feelings receiving salary but I really don’t know how to express it.
And so, I bought a magic cube (the one with many colour, sort of a puzzle thingy). Up to now I can only solve one side. It is too difficult for me. I doubt I have the IQ and I admit the truth.
Saturday afternoon, went out with YS and SJ. SJ still the same like before, talking all the ’shit’ things while people having lunch. I almost puke out the food.
I like this phrase said by a sales assistant in the Body Shop. “Thank you for saving the environment”. Finally, I saw some awareness for being environmental friendly. How great it would be if every shop applies that.
School holidays going to start soon. Friends are coming back! Great! Really miss you guys. And here is some hilarious story about a friend, Jasmine (Xin Ying) studying in Australia.
P.S. For everyone’s information Xin Ying has a new name now. Haha, don’t laugh okay? Lolx!
“She stayed in school campus and usually in other country you need to go to the ‘laundry room’ to wash clothes and dry them…and you have to pay. So one day she went to the laundry room to get her clothes washed. The problem is that she doesn’t have enough coins and she saw a machine on the wall which looked like a coins changing machine. At that time a black man was there to wash clothes also. So she asked the man how to use that machine and he taught her how and how. But, in the end…she found out they both were talking about two different matters. He told her that the machine was used to buy ‘condoms’! “
Friday, February 15, 2008
This Chinese New Year was a tiring one. My family and aunt’s family went for a ‘holiday’ in Genting and I ended up looking after two little cousins. The elder was terribly little devil while the other sticks to me like a glue. Gosh… It was a heck…
I took leave for almost eight days. Though, I did not really have time to rest. After one day back from Batu Pahat, I received a msg from Wei Wern to work at her aunt’s choc shop for Valentine’s promotion. I still remember the msg was sent around midnight. I felt that it would be bored to stay at home so agreed to it.
That day was Wei Wern’s birthday so she came late. I was so awkward at first because I don’t know a single person there. I think I really looked silly there. Then gradually I began to familiarize the price and things sold there. It was actually a new experience to work there and I learnt quite a lot. Selling things wasn’t really a challenge but it was tough to answer some customer questions. A few girls asked me what presents to give to their boyfriends. I turned speechless. How would I know… and I had to consult the guys working there. One of them was Andy. A really out fashioned name. Anyway, he is a cute guy and looks around twenty something but actually only seventeen. I couldn’t believe that he bought a giant Mashimaro for his becoming girlfriend. The girl must be shocking. Then we soon became friends and he even told me the content of his valentine’s card sticking to a Rocher rose. I don’t really remember what he said but it was not really mushy.
These three days I had seen different kinds of weird people. My conclusion is Indians spend the most followed by Chinese and Malays. Those ‘ah bengs’ and ‘ah sengs’ are more romantic. Hahax! I told my mum this, she laughed and said “Next time u go marry ah beng.”
People nowadays are damn rich. They could afford 99 and 50 roses of Rocher and those giant bears. Then there was this Malay guy called Ashraff working at Cathay cinema (saw by his name tag) secretly in love with a girl working in the Samsung shop. He bought a fresh rose, a card and requested us to send it to the girl. His hp number was written and he added a word “Dunia Baru” inside.
On the second day, Wei Wern told me his brother got chicken pox and I remembered I touch his tummy. Omg! I never had chicken pox. Then Wei Wern kept touching me…Devil…
Wei Wern’s mum is an interesting woman or I should call ‘teacher’. She cracked those dirty jokes in front of kids and teenagers. The lollipop stick one was funny. Such a huge stick like a… Okay no dirty thingy here.
Valentine’s day was the busiest day and I only ate two breads for lunch. My legs were aching like hell. I wanted to die. Fourteen of February is also my mum’s birthday. So romantic… This year I bought a present for her. I never bought her anything before, not even a card. I took an hour leave and went to Kerry’s. I bought a set of perfume. It costs me hundred and seventy bucks. Together with that I gave her a heart shape balloon which was given by Andy. Wei Wern received one too. Hahax! Sort of funny to receive it since it was our first gift on Valentine’s Day. Sadly, the balloon burst and shocked my mum. My mum was so happy for the present and I think she almost cried.
First Valentine's gift from Andy...(Free one actually)
Valentine's card specially from Wei Wern...Saturday, January 26, 2008
New liFe
So damn long didn’t post a blog…and there is so many things happened recently…
I got myself a job. As an accountant… Haha, I never thought I would take up such…job. I have always hate accounts and I never did well in that subject. Main reason should be I didn’t like my KH teacher a bit. She made the subject so difficult to understand and dull… But now…I am here at YS’s mum company as an accountant. Till now…I still kinda confused with the word ‘debit’ and ‘credit’. Very funny huh? Basically I just follow any instruction from my ‘malay sifu’ and do what I can. She is a nice person by the way. This job…is really and absolutely boring. Just coop up in an office and play with numbers everyday. No fun, no chatting, no excitement, only looked forward to 1 and 5 o’clock which are my refreshment and knock off time. Lolx. Anyway, it is just a part time job to kill time and I did learn something there besides than earning some pocket money.
Then somewhere around Dec we had a class party at Pn Mary’s house. Sadly to say, only half of them went. My gang all went except that loa ling. If YX or LY saw this blog please ask her to see this. Hahax!
Especially for lao ling:
You…!Class party didn’t come I can still forgive. Nah, our last gang gathering also didn’t come. Call you never pick up. Message you never reply. Wait till you come back this holiday… I am going to fix you. Lolx!
I really looked forward the day you all come back. And yeah… I didn’t really celebrate for SP cause since you all are not here, I don’t know how to plan for it.
I got myself a job. As an accountant… Haha, I never thought I would take up such…job. I have always hate accounts and I never did well in that subject. Main reason should be I didn’t like my KH teacher a bit. She made the subject so difficult to understand and dull… But now…I am here at YS’s mum company as an accountant. Till now…I still kinda confused with the word ‘debit’ and ‘credit’. Very funny huh? Basically I just follow any instruction from my ‘malay sifu’ and do what I can. She is a nice person by the way. This job…is really and absolutely boring. Just coop up in an office and play with numbers everyday. No fun, no chatting, no excitement, only looked forward to 1 and 5 o’clock which are my refreshment and knock off time. Lolx. Anyway, it is just a part time job to kill time and I did learn something there besides than earning some pocket money.
Then somewhere around Dec we had a class party at Pn Mary’s house. Sadly to say, only half of them went. My gang all went except that loa ling. If YX or LY saw this blog please ask her to see this. Hahax!
Especially for lao ling:
You…!Class party didn’t come I can still forgive. Nah, our last gang gathering also didn’t come. Call you never pick up. Message you never reply. Wait till you come back this holiday… I am going to fix you. Lolx!
I really looked forward the day you all come back. And yeah… I didn’t really celebrate for SP cause since you all are not here, I don’t know how to plan for it.
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