Monday, March 24, 2008

Question with no Answer

So it wasn’t real after all. My childhood dreams to step on Australia soil shattered. Air ticket and everything are prepared. The only thing I need to do is to wait for three more days and there I am in Melbourne.

"JPA or Melbourne…?
JPA OR Melbourne….?
JPA? Melbourne?"


JPA! “Future is more important!” Everyone will tell me this, including myself.

There you fly 2700++ bucks of ticket money… I really don’t know whether to cry or laugh. Cry because of disappointment. Laugh because I have gone mad. If the interview went all wrong I would definitely bang the hardest wall in the world.

Today is the first day of the whatever program the JPA organized to give exposure to those who wants to be a doctor. Doctor… Sounds really great huh. Any parents who does not want their children to be a doctor? Since I was a kid, I told mum, grandparents, uncles and aunties that I want to grow up to be a doctor. But why none of them ask me “my reason to be a doctor”?

I try to figure out the answer the whole day. I asked a few people who took part in the program and they replied me “I wouldn’t change my mind already because I am really interested in medicine”. But why I want to be a doctor? To save lives? Bullshits! If the career of medicine has very low salary, would I ever consider being a doctor? I really felt silly compared to other people who have their reasons to be here. Do I belong to here?

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