I failed!

(Scream) Im in damn bad mood now. Even though i already predicted i would fail after stepping out from then exam room, im still sad, disappointed. In my dictionary, fail rarely exists. I failed my Grade 8 piano practical. Who to blame? Myself of course! For not practising everyday but few times a month, for involving too much in chess club, for being lazy. I can still remember how hard i practise everyday few days before the exam. That time, i was really scared and tension. I played till my hands go weak, my mind nearly went physco. Even my mum was worried at my state. She had been a good support for me. Thanks to her for calling me to make sure i calm myself during exam. I had been such a let down to her...and to myself.Argh...failed...first time though. My skill wasn't that lousy actually. In fact, Mr Lam pinned high hope on me. I even skipped a few grades before. Maybe im too greedy...think too highly of myself. I should take the exam next year. Now im stuck here failing Grade 8. The examiner...haiz... Why don't she give me lower marks. 5 more marks to passing point. So 'gek'. If i were given lower marks then i would not be so sad. "She is just trying to be kind enough".Waa....! REally feel like crying. Why failed? Even for school exam papers i never failed, except for chinese paper lolx(but i did pass for the second time) No appetite....can't sleep....!!!!!!