So it wasn’t real after all. My childhood dreams to step on Australia soil shattered. Air ticket and everything are prepared. The only thing I need to do is to wait for three more days and there I am in Melbourne.
"JPA or Melbourne…?
JPA OR Melbourne….?
JPA? Melbourne?"
JPA! “Future is more important!” Everyone will tell me this, including myself.
There you fly 2700++ bucks of ticket money… I really don’t know whether to cry or laugh. Cry because of disappointment. Laugh because I have gone mad. If the interview went all wrong I would definitely bang the hardest wall in the world.
Today is the first day of the whatever program the JPA organized to give exposure to those who wants to be a doctor. Doctor… Sounds really great huh. Any parents who does not want their children to be a doctor? Since I was a kid, I told mum, grandparents, uncles and aunties that I want to grow up to be a doctor. But why none of them ask me “my reason to be a doctor”?
I try to figure out the answer the whole day. I asked a few people who took part in the program and they replied me “I wouldn’t change my mind already because I am really interested in medicine”. But why I want to be a doctor? To save lives? Bullshits! If the career of medicine has very low salary, would I ever consider being a doctor? I really felt silly compared to other people who have their reasons to be here. Do I belong to here?
Monday, March 24, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Past the Gate of Hell....
Finally over...the nightmares were only tales, wasting all my sweat and millions of cells. I can breathe at last. Straight As’, kind of unbelievable! What I expected was at least a B for History, I really did badly for that. Though I thought I did quite well for EST and Moral but *sigh. Whatever it is, I should be happy with my results. Thank god…my Biology did achieve an A1. Efforts not wasted though. My, I can still sensed how boring and vomiting I studied during the days before SPM. I have learnt my lesson not to study during the last minute. It’s really struggling and tired by staying back to do group study and stuffs everyday.
During that historical moment (as if), mum wasn’t with me. I still remember when I collect my PMR results, mum went with me. I ended up crying, don’t know why.
After calling mum, I sms-ed dad since he was in Vietnam. To my surprise, he replied “Excellent. Congrates. Haha :). And well done.” That was kind of touching.
Hmm…my feelings after collecting SPM results:
1. Numb
2. Satisfied
3. Relieved
4. Released…!
Anyway, this is just a beginning. The road is still way too far to walk to the junction of success. Buck up, Pei Ling!
During that historical moment (as if), mum wasn’t with me. I still remember when I collect my PMR results, mum went with me. I ended up crying, don’t know why.
After calling mum, I sms-ed dad since he was in Vietnam. To my surprise, he replied “Excellent. Congrates. Haha :). And well done.” That was kind of touching.
Hmm…my feelings after collecting SPM results:
1. Numb
2. Satisfied
3. Relieved
4. Released…!
Anyway, this is just a beginning. The road is still way too far to walk to the junction of success. Buck up, Pei Ling!
Bla bla bla....
" I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to easily get upset and cry
Cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truly
But at the time it didn't mean a thing
My mind is gone, I'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears I'll drown
I'm losing grip, what's happening”
I'm not the type to easily get upset and cry
Cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truly
But at the time it didn't mean a thing
My mind is gone, I'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears I'll drown
I'm losing grip, what's happening”
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
s e c r e t s . . .
Everyone has secrets. Here are a few random secrets of mine:
1. I used milk bottle instead of mug till I was in Primary 4.
2. I feel inferior talking to people taller than me.
3. I signed my school report cards myself twice.
4. I’m scared of playing sea-saw. It makes my heart jump.
5. I can’t remember my daddy’s birthday-only knows it is somewhere around November.
6. I don’t brush my teeth when I was small.
7. My gang and I took the whole roll of white strings from Science Laboratory to make Woo- doo dolls. We also took quite an amount of litmus and universal indicator papers to play.
8. I would bring handkerchief to school everyday (like ancient people).
9. Actually I only vouch about 40% of the ledgers in which the remainder I just ticked without checking.
10. My parents never know I have a blog…
1. I used milk bottle instead of mug till I was in Primary 4.
2. I feel inferior talking to people taller than me.
3. I signed my school report cards myself twice.
4. I’m scared of playing sea-saw. It makes my heart jump.
5. I can’t remember my daddy’s birthday-only knows it is somewhere around November.
6. I don’t brush my teeth when I was small.
7. My gang and I took the whole roll of white strings from Science Laboratory to make Woo- doo dolls. We also took quite an amount of litmus and universal indicator papers to play.
8. I would bring handkerchief to school everyday (like ancient people).
9. Actually I only vouch about 40% of the ledgers in which the remainder I just ticked without checking.
10. My parents never know I have a blog…
Sunday, March 2, 2008
I have put a pause to my thinking. I got to be back on track as soon as possible though it is hard to do so. Either it is a coma or full stop, only heaven knows.
Things really go a bit wrong here and there. I was having terrible flu the whole day in the office and work like a corpse. Lunch hour I went and eat alone at the nearest restaurant. I didn’t bring along my hand phone. When I went back I saw a message from SP asking where I am. Hell, I didn’t know I was supposed to have lunch with her and I made her waited for so long. Gosh, I am really going to be killed very soon.
Recently I just received my salary. My feelings…nothing much, quite happy, not trilling but satisfied. Someone asked me to write about this and my feelings receiving salary but I really don’t know how to express it.
And so, I bought a magic cube (the one with many colour, sort of a puzzle thingy). Up to now I can only solve one side. It is too difficult for me. I doubt I have the IQ and I admit the truth.
Saturday afternoon, went out with YS and SJ. SJ still the same like before, talking all the ’shit’ things while people having lunch. I almost puke out the food.
I like this phrase said by a sales assistant in the Body Shop. “Thank you for saving the environment”. Finally, I saw some awareness for being environmental friendly. How great it would be if every shop applies that.
School holidays going to start soon. Friends are coming back! Great! Really miss you guys. And here is some hilarious story about a friend, Jasmine (Xin Ying) studying in Australia.
P.S. For everyone’s information Xin Ying has a new name now. Haha, don’t laugh okay? Lolx!
“She stayed in school campus and usually in other country you need to go to the ‘laundry room’ to wash clothes and dry them…and you have to pay. So one day she went to the laundry room to get her clothes washed. The problem is that she doesn’t have enough coins and she saw a machine on the wall which looked like a coins changing machine. At that time a black man was there to wash clothes also. So she asked the man how to use that machine and he taught her how and how. But, in the end…she found out they both were talking about two different matters. He told her that the machine was used to buy ‘condoms’! “
Things really go a bit wrong here and there. I was having terrible flu the whole day in the office and work like a corpse. Lunch hour I went and eat alone at the nearest restaurant. I didn’t bring along my hand phone. When I went back I saw a message from SP asking where I am. Hell, I didn’t know I was supposed to have lunch with her and I made her waited for so long. Gosh, I am really going to be killed very soon.
Recently I just received my salary. My feelings…nothing much, quite happy, not trilling but satisfied. Someone asked me to write about this and my feelings receiving salary but I really don’t know how to express it.
And so, I bought a magic cube (the one with many colour, sort of a puzzle thingy). Up to now I can only solve one side. It is too difficult for me. I doubt I have the IQ and I admit the truth.
Saturday afternoon, went out with YS and SJ. SJ still the same like before, talking all the ’shit’ things while people having lunch. I almost puke out the food.
I like this phrase said by a sales assistant in the Body Shop. “Thank you for saving the environment”. Finally, I saw some awareness for being environmental friendly. How great it would be if every shop applies that.
School holidays going to start soon. Friends are coming back! Great! Really miss you guys. And here is some hilarious story about a friend, Jasmine (Xin Ying) studying in Australia.
P.S. For everyone’s information Xin Ying has a new name now. Haha, don’t laugh okay? Lolx!
“She stayed in school campus and usually in other country you need to go to the ‘laundry room’ to wash clothes and dry them…and you have to pay. So one day she went to the laundry room to get her clothes washed. The problem is that she doesn’t have enough coins and she saw a machine on the wall which looked like a coins changing machine. At that time a black man was there to wash clothes also. So she asked the man how to use that machine and he taught her how and how. But, in the end…she found out they both were talking about two different matters. He told her that the machine was used to buy ‘condoms’! “
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